Paris, je t’aime
Posted on 14. Jan, 2009 by susie in biscuits and lies, books i've been reading, films, girl meets cake, holidays, other writers, telly
Surefire way to avoid the post-Christmas blues: go on holiday. OK, so the part where it was -7°C wasn't entirely part of the plan, but Paris in the snow turns out to be absurdly lovely. And it gives one an excellent excuse to drink the utterly decadent hot chocolate at Angelina while thawing...
Georgette Heyer, wheeee! And Russell T. Davies' A Writer's Tale, which (being about both writing and Doctor Who) was clearly cooked up in the 'things which exist purely to please Susie' cauldron. TARDISes aside, Davies has been responsible for some of the most cheerfully thought-provoking telly of the last 10 years – and he's every bit as entertaining and insightful on the page as you'd hope. I'm finding his reluctant commitment to prevarication until utter terror forces him to start working deeply reassuring, though he's emphatically wary about assuming any writer's method as a template. Always have an ending in mind! Only write in the mornings! In pencil, on the backs of envelopes, while drinking nothing but squid ink! He's right: we all want to have our hands held, to believe there's a secret trick to it, but sometimes the best advice really is to ignore whatever anyone tells you and just get on with it. Though of course you'll have to take my word for that...
Next Book* is at the vertiginous decision-making stage. There are so many ways to write this story: whether it works depends entirely on me picking the right one. Actually, that's rubbish. No decisions are final: sometimes you have to write it 'wrong' before you can see how to write it 'right'. (If you're me, anyway.) It does help if you can spot the 'right' early on, though: Girl Meets Cake got to 55,000 words of Mostly Wrong, which was a bit wearing to sort out. Speaking of which: look! OK, so you still can't have it until April – but magnificent cover, no?
* Next Book (ie not the Next Book for you lot, the one I haven't written yet but hopefully might come out in 2010) needs a 'Biscuits & Lies'-style working title. It's got a working working title, but that tells you the whole plot in one go, so we can't have that. Hmm...bear with me?
Drinking gallons of tea from my Christmas Blake's 7 mug; seeing in the New Year with Spaniards and grapes (twelve of 'em); pondering the many ways in which The Other Boleyn Girl is terrible; plotting a Prisoner marathon in honour of the *sniffles* late, great McGoohan.
Contains Mild Peril
Posted on 04. Jun, 2008 by susie in big woo, biscuits and lies, books i've been reading, films, internet, kids' books i've been reading, other writers
The kidlit world is getting its undies in a right old knot over publishers’ plans to include age guidance on children’s books. Those against include, well, probably every children’s writer you’ve ever heard of. Except for Meg Rosoff who, in typical fashion, is swimming against the tide, and thinks it might be quite handy for the humble book-buying punter.
Me? I’m with Mighty Meg.
Books aren’t unpackaged and unmediated. They come with covers carefully designed to target a specific audience: cupcakes and faces for girlies, logos for boys, artsy graphics for ’serious’. (Foil and shiny bits for everyone: we’re all magpies, apparently.) Even the author’s name is retooled for the market where possible. Betcha I wouldn’t be ‘Susie’ if I wrote action thrillers for 10-year-old boys.
But all of these are inexplicit devices, and on occasion quite subtle ones. (I’ve not heard it stated aloud, but I’m fairly sure the colour scheme of the US edition of serafina67 doesn’t quietly evoke Lauren Myracle’s ttyl by accident.) The No To Age Banding posse point out that kids study these tricks of the trade in school. True: I’ve taught that lesson (and it’s gold: nothing gets a book-deprived disinterested class engaged better than getting them to redesign The Hobbit, even if it might end up a bit gorier than you remember, with considerably more grenades and rocket launchers). But it’s not kids who hand over the cash in the bookshop. And as a grown-up who reads kidlit avidly, I still find myself at nephew-birthday time wondering if I’m about to cause family meltdown with a gift that includes oral sex under its Spiderman wrapping paper.
Let’s get this clear: no 9-year-old booknut is going to be arrested for possession of an 11+ rated novel. Alarms will not sound throughout the local library, sending masked men with AK47s to shoot dead gay Dumbledore out of Little Johnny’s hands. If we can credit young readers with understanding book covers as marketing devices, we can also grant them the wit to interpret age banding in exactly the same way: as information which serves a specific purpose, and can be ignored and discarded if you think you know better. Meanwhile us crumbly types can be reassured that by buying a book we aren’t effectively taking a 7-year-old to a 12A film, only to have to carry them out, sobbing uncontrollably, after the ninth beheading.
Timing means everything in literature. I firmly believe that every copy of The Catcher In The Rye should come stamped with ‘not to be read if over 18: may cause nausea’. Martin Amis’s early works should explode off one’s bookshelf after the age of 25 in case you’re tempted to revisit, and discover that what seemed ‘like totally postmodern man, whoa’ back in the day now feels a bit studenty and crap. No kid is going to be heinously scarred by reading outside what is designated ‘age-appropriate’ – but I fail to see how they’ll suffer from a little guidance. We’re in a second Golden Age of children’s writing. Magnificent new books get published every day. A little help finding the ones you’ll get the most out of is no bad thing.
The Last of the Warrior Kings, Sarah Mussi (YA, 12+, contemporary thriller). Regular readers will know Sarah is an old mate, who despite being an award-winning and nominated-for-more-award-winning author, still deigns to associate with the likes of me. :) Much as I’d love to annoy her with a bad review, the bloody woman continues to write such uniquely funny, brainy, pacy stuff that I’m stuck with the usual effusions of dribbly praise. If you’ve read her Door of No Return, you’ll know to expect movie-worthy action and thrills, bonkers plot twists, heartbreakingly accurate teenage characters, and a serious dose of education on African issues. Last of the Warrior Kings manages to revisit the same territory while feeling utterly fresh, largely thanks to hero Max, whose endearingly hapless efforts to save the day and win the unattainable girl (all while keeping his expensive trainers pristine) can’t help but draw you in. It seems cheeky to highlight the sillier side of a story that has genuine darkness at its heart: Sarah’s not naive about her own South London, and the harsh realities of gang warfare now are accompanied by the no less grim history of C19th British intervention in Nigeria. But this is a fundamentally uplifting book about finding a way to live your life well no matter what hand fate has dealt you, with plenty of daft gags along the way and an ending that will really linger in the mind. Quite infuriatingly good. Stop making the rest of us look inadequate, dammit!
Had a typically spectacular weekend with my writing group (the evil Mussi included), who kindly held my hand through a bit of Biscuits & Lies structural paranoia, and, as always, fed me till I was barrel-like. I’m now back to too much thinking and not enough typing. And the realisation that I now have three separate characters called Simon. This is going to be an interesting editing experience…
Mourning the loss of Lovely Lucinda from The Apprentice; finding new things to hate about Indy IV (while coveting Lego Indy); playing Prince of Persia on someone’s PS2 (this is what old-skool looks like now? gosh); staring, open-mouthed, at this…er…unusual cover version of Rihanna’s Umbrella (T: isn’t that Arbruzzi in a wig?).
Reality check
Posted on 06. Dec, 2007 by susie in books i've been reading, kids' books i've been reading, telly
I’m giving up on fiction. Reality’s getting too peculiar for me to attempt to compete.
First up, we have Canoe Man, who in the space of two days has gone from a tragic amnesiac who resurfaced after being presumed dead for 5 years in true Cast Away fashion, to a fraudulent git who let his sons think he was dead so his wife could buy a house in Panama.
Then there’s Natascha Kampusch, the Austrian woman who was kidnapped and spent 8 years living in a cupboard, who is taking the oh-so-predictable career move to become…a chatshow host. For those suspecting the ordeal might have left her adversely affected in the marbles department, her press release contains possibly the most chilling sentence ever constructed: “For a while now I have been considering the idea of coming out of the role of a passive media object and becoming proactive in creating media content.” With repartee like that, no wonder Parky’s retired.
And let’s not get into Beargate.
William Goldman, writer of The Princess Bride (both novel and film, each equally wondrous), points out that life’s ‘movie moments’ are infuriating: his example in Adventures in the Screen Trade is Michael Fagan breaking into the Queen’s bedroom, while the guards happened to be walking the corgis, and the lady’s maids happened to be cleaning another bit of the castle (bless him: I’m fairly certain this isn’t what ‘lady’s maids’ do – but hey, he wrote ‘My Name Is Inigo Montoya’: he can think whatever the hell he likes), and the people monitoring her security buzzer happened to assume it was faulty. All true(ish): none of it any use to a writer, because it’s so hopelessly improbable. As Goldman puts it: ‘Truth is terrific, reality is even better, but believability is best of all.’
It all comes down to genre. Genre gives us parameters and security, as writers, readers, consumers in general: no axe-murderers for the under-5s, no portals at the back of the wardrobe in chicklit. Real life is just another genre: no random drunk blokes in the Queen’s bedroom, and no dead dads coming back to life in a way that doesn’t lead to a party. There are rules to our mundanity, and we quite like them. No wonder celebrities go bonkers, stuck in a universe so off-kilter it wouldn’t even pass muster as sci-fi-fantasy. ‘Sorry, Ms Lohan/Winehouse/Spears, but your reality is too cliched for us to apprehend it as reality. Move along now?’
Finally reading Louise Rennisons’s ‘Georgia Nicolson’ series, starting with Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging. (Dying to know what the original title was, because I’d put money on it not being that.) I’ve been putting it off for fear of cross-contamination: when you’re reading a really good writer you pick up on their style, and I didn’t want to be channelling a snarky teenage diarist while writing…another one of those. Ahem. She’s brilliant, though. I was all set to be ‘read it for research, can tick that off’ about it, and instead appear to be more on the lines of ‘am hopelessly addicted now, please give me book fix soon?’ ‘I was all enigmatic, which is not easy in a beret.’ Hee. Thank heaven there are about 8 more of them, or I would be grumpy.
I am definitely having my photograph taken next week. Cue much wardrobe anxiety (along with hoping my cold goes away, because the red nose will look a lot less festive come April).
Buying fairy lights and thus declaring it Christmas, failing to go to a Philip Pullman book-signing, watching Graham Norton interviewing Marilyn Manson and Nigella Lawson at the same time and throwing all that ‘real life is a genre’ crap out of the window.
Points mean Prizes
Posted on 28. Nov, 2007 by susie in kids' books i've been reading, other writers
Magnificent news: fellow scribbler and dear old mate Sarah Mussi has won the Glen Dimplex New Writers’ Award 2007 for her children’s book, The Door of No Return. I couldn’t be more thrilled, not only because she’s a friend, but because Door really is something special: a book aimed squarely at teens with powerful and sensitive issues at its core (financial reparations for slavery), coupled with a cracking thriller that tears you through the pages so breathlessly that you barely notice you’re being educated. It’s as far from an ‘issues’ book as you can imagine (it’s hilarious, for one thing: hero Zac is a corking example of an ‘unreliable’ narrator) yet doesn’t flinch from telling uncomfortable truths. Stuck for a Christmas present for a teenage boy, anyone?
This is the first time I’ve really known someone else’s book from ‘I’ve got this idea’ to it being an actual object with pages and a cover and an ISBN. It’s quite terrifying to imagine that every single novel you see on a bookshop shelf has gone through all those sticky moments in between: the second-guessing of the plot, the second-guessing of the very premise, all those rewrites, then the merry dance of finding agents and/or publishers, more rewrites, then the whirligig of promotion and whether you’re in a 3-for-2, all observed by friends and family and enthusiastic writing groups, by which time you’re on to the next one anyway because it’s taken 2-3 years to get to this point (assuming if you write quite quickly)… I know all these things already, but for some reason it feels more real when it’s happening to someone else. Watching the unfolding narrative of my own book-gets-published saga is participatory: I’m too much of a character, too closely involved. With someone else’s I get to sit back like Hercules Poirot, observing the scene, my little grey cells all a-fizz with glee as it unfolds exactly as I would have hoped. Cheers to you, Sarah: first of many well-deserved accolades, I don’t doubt.
Aaand the internet crazy just keeps on coming. Old story, newly in the mainstream media, of a 13-year-old girl who committed suicide: Making Light has an excellent round-up of the sequence of events, plus the obvious-yet-apparently-not statement of the week: What happens online is real.
Copyedits a-go-go. Sometimes WTF should be wtf. No, I don’t always know why. Also: Dear Copyeditor, I’m very sorry for writing the prizewinner of Least Possible To CopyEdit 2007.
Trying that thing where you stir-fry sprouts with bacon instead of just boiling them (not half bad); being on trains and buses and feet; locking myself out of my flat bumbumbum; wondering when lazy-bastard Lovefilm are going to send me the next bit of Prison Break; almost being in Paris. This last makes me happy. When I was little I had some knickers with ‘A Weekend In Paris’ written on them. Clearly they were formative. :)
Adventures in Freecycling
Posted on 17. Oct, 2007 by susie in books i've been reading
Alas, poor Freecycle. No one wants my broken telly, but they aren’t too shy to ask for a non-broken one.
The Freecycle Yahoo group works on a charmingly simple principle: Person A has some crap they will have to put in a skip; Person B would clamber into the skip if they knew where it was because that crap is exactly what they need; Magical Internet C circumvents both skip and clambering, and the crap of the world is recycled. Hurrah!
That’s how it used to work, anyway. There are still noble souls providing everything from the prosaic bookshelves, bedheads and baby clothes to ‘12 slim maternity pads from Mothercare (unused)’. There’s even a nice-sounding lady terribly keen not to let a ‘half-used can of squirty cream’ go to waste. (There’s a subtext in there somewhere.) But one couple just moving into their new home have requested ‘*Dining table & chairs (4-6 pref)*Toaster*Kettle*Coffee table*Microwave*Wardrobe (pref flatpacked due to narrow stairs!!)*Small under-counter freezer*Most kitchen stuff minus pots & pans*Curtains*Lamps.’ Apparently I was mistaken about that principle: actually it’s ‘Please deliver your skip of crap to my house, and come to think of it I’d rather nothing in it was crap, and you can make me a cup of tea while you’re at it, two sugars, where’s my biscuit?’ Except without the ‘Please’.
The ‘we’ve just moved house’ handwringing is the crucial change here, though. It’s not enough these days to simply post a mild bit of begging: an X Factor-style ‘I’m doing it for me dead mum,
(And if I sound unsympathetic, do bear in mind that a suitable bike, clothes and enough kitchenware to restock Ikea were ‘offered’ on the site during the week, if the ‘wanted’ crowd could have been arsed to look.)
Margery Allingham’s Look to the Lady. ‘My dear fellow,’ said Mr Campion with affable idiocy, ‘I have buttered my bun and now I must lie on it. And you, my beautiful, will stand meekly by.’ Like a cup of tea and a hug, in paperback.
The Editathon is over! Apart from the last three pages. They aren’t important, are they? I have (re)discovered that I like editing books the least of all the writerish things there are, which means I feel quite skippy and gleeful at the prospect of writing something fresh and new. Presumably this is how things are supposed to work.
Obsessively reading Freecycle pages (apparently), buying a new telly (delightedly), sleeping (fire-alarm-interruptedly).
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