I am cross with myself, as I managed to miss both Flight of the Conchords and Charlie Brooker’s Screen Wipe last night, due to them being

a) on BBC4
b) do you need more than that?

For fear of missing more vital televisual delights, I have carefully scoured today’s Radio Times online, and found no equivalent peaches. This afternoon Five (not Channel Five, just Five) offered up Robin Cook’s Terminal, which I thought was in rather poor taste until I remembered that he’s already dead. (Is that worse, maybe?). BBC3 this evening has
Help Me Anthea, I’m Infested, which, rather pleasingly, suggests that the realisation ‘Oh no, my home is being invaded by a plague of vile soulless creeping things’ will inexorably be followed by a whoop of ‘ANTHEA TURNER!’ The sole highlight of the evening is ITV4′s offering of an episode of The Professionals, which according to the RT is a documentary. In which Doyle gets shot by some Chinese people. I am reminded of all those times my heart leapt when I saw University Challenge: The Professionals listed, and truly believed that my dream of Ultimate Crossover Television had come true at last…

In the absence of better (oh, who am I kidding, I am absolutely going to end up watching The Professionals), here are the Conchords demonstrating why they are undubitably the inventors of rap. There ain’t no party like my nana’s tea party…

interviews with Billie Piper about Belle du Jour: brace yourselves, Who fandom is about to explode

Mermaids!

Cooking some kind of vegetably tomatoey thing in an effort to nourish myself. Man cannot live by bread and Haribo alone, no, nor woman neither.