My Invisible Boyfriend is set in the present day – but Mr Venables, the excruciatingly over-friendly Performing Arts teacher, is undeniably trapped in the 80s. His musical version of Twelfth Night is replete with neon fingerless gloves, rollerskates and Big Hair.

“But forget all that stuff about dukes, guys. This is not 1601. No one is going to be wearing codpieces in this production. We’re better than that, guys. We’re going to set this somewhere crazy. Take our audience somewhere they didn’t know they were going to go. Shake up our Shakespeare!”
Venables whips out a marker, and writes IN THE 80s on his poster, then adds !!! on the end.
Fili makes a little moaning noise of despair.
“OH MY GOD!” hisses Ludo. “Leg warmers! And Lycra! And blue mascara!”
From the look on her face, these are apparently supposed to be good things.

For us crumblies who remember it first time round *raises hand* this is both painfully familiar, and a, um, broad interpretation of 80s pop culture. We didn’t all jog the streets in our fashionable leisurewear, our Walkmans playing Sigue Sigue Sputnik while we chatted on our brickphones. Some people were a bit busy rioting about their poll tax. Some people were listening to Joy Division. I was mostly doing my homework and thinking about Ewoks. But The Future blunts all edges when it looks back: 2010 will probably be Lady Gaga wrapped in hazard tape and not a lot else.

Still, to spare you, Gentle Teenage Reader, from reliance on Hot Tub Time Machine and the current plastic tat section of TopShop, here are some pointers on the Venables-approved interpretation of Now That’s What I Call Shakespeare!

This is clearly what would be going on in Olivia’s head when she first encounters Cesario: Princess Di hair and muscles:

Meanwhile, the servants are getting restless and Malvolio wants to risk a new look:

And of course, let’s not forget movie classic Tron, which inspires the Etienne & the Illyrians look. (Yes, trailers were that boring in the 80s, and yes, that is Jeff Bridges: Oscar winner.)

I am now going to drink some New Coke and solve my Rubik’s Cube. Ciao!

My Invisible Boyfriend‘s 7 Days of Stuff continues tomorrow!

My Invisible Boyfriend‘s 7 Days of Stuff continues…

Sadly Willy Wonka’s the only one who can make truly lickable wallpaper, but these come pretty close!  So why not Heidi-fy your screen? Hover over the thumbnails to find the screen resolution of your choice, then click the image, and right-click to download.

7 Days of Stuff will be back tomorrow!

My Invisible Boyfriend‘s 7 Days of Stuff continues!

How well do you know Heidi, Betsy, and all the Finch and Little Leaf friends?  Test yourself with:

click me!

7 Days of Stuff will be back tomorrow…

MY INVISIBLE BOYFRIEND’S 7 Days of Stuff continues!

In My Invisible Boyfriend, Heidi creates Gingerbread Ed, her very own imaginary boyfriend.  But he’s not her first: she’s already a teensy bit obsessive about a time-travelling detective on TV by the name of Mycroft Christie.  He’s half Sam Tyler, half Adam Adamant, and she adores him.

Where do you get your ideas? people often ask us writing types.  This one’s not really a stretch: I’ve been having TV boyfriends since I was tiny.

Illya Kuryakin

Illya Kuryakin: the other Man from UNCLE

The not-noticeably-Russian David McCallum, long before his NCIS days, was the superest 60s superspy of them all.  This vid encapsulates his charms perfectly, and it doesn’t even include that time he joined the foreign legion.  Or was nearly killed by foam.  Or bees.  THAT’S HOW AWESOME HE IS.

The Fifth Doctor

The Doctor (especially the beige one)

My Doctor.  Tom Baker was what made me hide behind the sofa as a nipper, so the arrival of His Beigeness was very welcome to my six-year-old self.

Anyway, he’s got a TARDIS and will take you on adventures!  Which might kill you, if you happen to be an annoying mathematical genius!  Hooray!  Bonus TV Boyfriend points for the fact that if you get bored, you can bonk him on the head and get a new one.

Robin of Sherwood

Robin Hood, the Mullet King

Michael Praed might have regenerated into Jason Connery so he could go and be in Dynasty, but we forgive him.  He worked a pair of tights and some deeply dubious flowing locks like no other before or since.  (Yes, recent BBC version, I’m looking at you.)  Marion was FABULOUS too.  And the Merries.  And the Sheriff.    And his final episode… *wibbles*  I think I’m still recovering all these years later.

Did you know Antony Horowitz wrote some of this?

Relive the, um, magic.

Mal Reynolds

Firefly’s Captain Tightpants

“We may experience some turbulence and then… explode.” That’s the kind of reassurance you want from a Captain.

Like the follow-up movie sequel Serenity, Joss Whedon’s ill-fated Firefly (TM) was a true space western, and Mal was head cowboy of a slightly rubbish spaceship stacked with dodgy cargo.  Yep: he’s Han Solo on the telly.  That’s all you need to know.

(Oh, and sometimes he transports cows in that there hangar.  It’s that kind of show.)

Willow Rosenberg

Willow, the occasionally-also-a Vampire Slayer

Because, like in real life,  TV boyfriends can be girls too.

Willow managed to persuasively grow up from dorky sidekick to superpowered witchy woman without losing any of her original perky charm.  (Well, OK, there was that time she tried to end the universe by means of a laboured don’t-do-drugs-kids metaphor – but she wore a really good jacket while she was doing it.)

Now, will someone please write me a TV show where they all team up and FIGHT CRIME?

Come back tomorrow for more from 7 Days of Stuff!