every day should be a susie day

Stop! Hammocktime

Posted on 27. Jun, 2009 by susie in books i've been reading, cooking, girl meets cake, internet, kids' books i've been reading, my invisible boyfriend, telly

I’ve wanted a hammock since the summer after my GCSEs, when I spent an entire week at a French campsite refusing to budge out of one, while reading Dune.  (Truly, there cannot be more compelling evidence of the comfortableness of hammocks.  Sorry, sci-nerds, but that’s a 750-page turd of a book.)

Today the sun shone, I read the weekend Guardian cover to cover, and there were raspberries, and much tea.   Bliss.

  Nomnomnombooks. Lately I’ve read Scarlett Thomas’ PopCo, which is marginally less weird than The End of Mr Y, despite being about commercial globalisation, treasure-hunting, and complex mathematical formulae. Brilliant, though: the ideas are magnificent but it’s the characters I still miss, weeks later. Then Nicola Upson’s An Expert In Murder: faux 30s detective fiction, starring actual 30s detective fiction author Josephine Tey (do you see what she did there?), who gets embroiled in a series of murders connected to her play about Richard III.  Being a Tey geek, I adore the concept more than is reasonable, but the execution is a disappointment: in lieu of narrative urgency the point of view wanders from character to character, including to the killer – who conveniently happens not to be thinking “hmm, wish I hadn’t committed that murder” at the time – and Tey is barely in it. I’d go and read Brat Farrar instead if I were you (or Allingham’s Dancers in Mourning, for genuine Golden Age theatreland intrigue). I’ve also finally read a Jaclyn Moriarty, Becoming Bindy McKenzie (YA), which I adored with the queasy reservations of one who recognises bits of her teenage self in the (profoundly unlovely) heroine. The denouement is bonkers, but there’s so much brilliance before that you don’t mind at all. It’s the 3rd of her Ashbury books, and I plan to eat the others as soon as the library lets me.

  I have proofs!  One last pass over the insides of My Invisible Boyfriend (the US title for Girl Meets Cake), which is going to look beautiful.  And I’m playing with a new Sooper Sekrit Project: only a few thousand words in, but I’m getting a wee bit excited.  If I can juuust get the voice right…

Becoming enthralled by the televisual loveliness that is Chuck; watching Don Juan De Marco (Johnny Depp is so young! Marlon Brando is so… many other things); being dead chuffed about Anthony Browne being the new children’s laureate; eating lasagne; still loving RebelliousPixels’ Buffy vs Twilight satire vid (just in case you missed it); wondering if I can bring the hammock indoors at the end of the summer so I don’t have to contemplate life without it…

Mercury Thiocyanide!

Posted on 30. Sep, 2008 by susie in biscuits and lies, books i've been reading, cooking, girl meets cake, internet, kids' books i've been reading

Yes, this does look like…you know what. Yay science!

Burning Mercury Thiocyanide will amaze you!

  I’m not allowed to read books at the moment, what with being a bit busy trying to write one. But I’m dangling, like a carrot before a donkey, the prospect of Moomins when I finish. I can’t even remember which ones I’ve read, but I plan to devour them all (along with a supper of pine-needles, to keep me going through the long winter months).  I’ve reread most of the books I adored as a kid, even the elusive King of the Copper Mountains by Paul Biegel – which turned out to be even weirder than I remembered, but still wonderful – but I haven’t laid eyes on the Hemulen, Too-Ticky et al since I was about ten.  Something tells me they won’t have got less odd over time…

  No, I haven’t finished revising Girl Meets Cake yet. :(  The deadlinefish continues to nibble at my toes nightly: I continue to stare at the sizeable chunk I still have to rewrite.  I met up with MG Harris (for lunch! I’m allowed to eat lunch!) and she shared her ‘completion anxiety‘ over finishing #3 of The Joshua Files (while simultaneously editing #2, the show-off).  I’ve got  ‘incompletion anxiety’, I reckon.  I wrote some jokes this morning, though.  I think they were funny. It’s getting hard to tell.  However, none of this will matter, as I’ve seen the cover for the UK edition, and it’s so enticingly fabulous that it probably won’t matter what’s inside.  (I didn’t say that.  Don’t quote me.  It’ll be brilliant, honest.  With jokes in it and everything.  Some of which may be funny.  What do you want, blood?)

  Inconveniently rekindling my desire to watch The Professionals all day (damn you, ITV4), failing to reply to blog comments (sorry, am rubbish), becoming obsessed with baked potatoes (Marfona, people: it’s the only way).

Contains Mild Peril

Posted on 04. Jun, 2008 by susie in big woo, biscuits and lies, books i've been reading, films, internet, kids' books i've been reading, other writers

The kidlit world is getting its undies in a right old knot over publishers’ plans to include age guidance on children’s books. Those against include, well, probably every children’s writer you’ve ever heard of. Except for Meg Rosoff who, in typical fashion, is swimming against the tide, and thinks it might be quite handy for the humble book-buying punter.

Me? I’m with Mighty Meg.

Books aren’t unpackaged and unmediated. They come with covers carefully designed to target a specific audience: cupcakes and faces for girlies, logos for boys, artsy graphics for ’serious’. (Foil and shiny bits for everyone: we’re all magpies, apparently.) Even the author’s name is retooled for the market where possible. Betcha I wouldn’t be ‘Susie’ if I wrote action thrillers for 10-year-old boys.

But all of these are inexplicit devices, and on occasion quite subtle ones. (I’ve not heard it stated aloud, but I’m fairly sure the colour scheme of the US edition of serafina67 doesn’t quietly evoke Lauren Myracle’s ttyl by accident.) The No To Age Banding posse point out that kids study these tricks of the trade in school. True: I’ve taught that lesson (and it’s gold: nothing gets a book-deprived disinterested class engaged better than getting them to redesign The Hobbit, even if it might end up a bit gorier than you remember, with considerably more grenades and rocket launchers). But it’s not kids who hand over the cash in the bookshop. And as a grown-up who reads kidlit avidly, I still find myself at nephew-birthday time wondering if I’m about to cause family meltdown with a gift that includes oral sex under its Spiderman wrapping paper.

Let’s get this clear: no 9-year-old booknut is going to be arrested for possession of an 11+ rated novel. Alarms will not sound throughout the local library, sending masked men with AK47s to shoot dead gay Dumbledore out of Little Johnny’s hands. If we can credit young readers with understanding book covers as marketing devices, we can also grant them the wit to interpret age banding in exactly the same way: as information which serves a specific purpose, and can be ignored and discarded if you think you know better. Meanwhile us crumbly types can be reassured that by buying a book we aren’t effectively taking a 7-year-old to a 12A film, only to have to carry them out, sobbing uncontrollably, after the ninth beheading.

Timing means everything in literature. I firmly believe that every copy of The Catcher In The Rye should come stamped with ‘not to be read if over 18: may cause nausea’. Martin Amis’s early works should explode off one’s bookshelf after the age of 25 in case you’re tempted to revisit, and discover that what seemed ‘like totally postmodern man, whoa’ back in the day now feels a bit studenty and crap. No kid is going to be heinously scarred by reading outside what is designated ‘age-appropriate’ – but I fail to see how they’ll suffer from a little guidance. We’re in a second Golden Age of children’s writing. Magnificent new books get published every day. A little help finding the ones you’ll get the most out of is no bad thing.

The Last of the Warrior Kings, Sarah Mussi (YA, 12+, contemporary thriller). Regular readers will know Sarah is an old mate, who despite being an award-winning and nominated-for-more-award-winning author, still deigns to associate with the likes of me. :) Much as I’d love to annoy her with a bad review, the bloody woman continues to write such uniquely funny, brainy, pacy stuff that I’m stuck with the usual effusions of dribbly praise. If you’ve read her Door of No Return, you’ll know to expect movie-worthy action and thrills, bonkers plot twists, heartbreakingly accurate teenage characters, and a serious dose of education on African issues. Last of the Warrior Kings manages to revisit the same territory while feeling utterly fresh, largely thanks to hero Max, whose endearingly hapless efforts to save the day and win the unattainable girl (all while keeping his expensive trainers pristine) can’t help but draw you in. It seems cheeky to highlight the sillier side of a story that has genuine darkness at its heart: Sarah’s not naive about her own South London, and the harsh realities of gang warfare now are accompanied by the no less grim history of C19th British intervention in Nigeria. But this is a fundamentally uplifting book about finding a way to live your life well no matter what hand fate has dealt you, with plenty of daft gags along the way and an ending that will really linger in the mind. Quite infuriatingly good. Stop making the rest of us look inadequate, dammit!

Had a typically spectacular weekend with my writing group (the evil Mussi included), who kindly held my hand through a bit of Biscuits & Lies structural paranoia, and, as always, fed me till I was barrel-like. I’m now back to too much thinking and not enough typing. And the realisation that I now have three separate characters called Simon. This is going to be an interesting editing experience…

Mourning the loss of Lovely Lucinda from The Apprentice; finding new things to hate about Indy IV (while coveting Lego Indy); playing Prince of Persia on someone’s PS2 (this is what old-skool looks like now? gosh); staring, open-mouthed, at this…er…unusual cover version of Rihanna’s Umbrella (T: isn’t that Arbruzzi in a wig?).

Hear me roar!

Posted on 15. May, 2008 by susie in biscuits and lies, books i've been reading, doctor who, films, internet

Or possibly just mumble a bit in a slightly incoherent fashion. I have the grand privilege of guesting on the Litopia After Dark podcast on Friday evening, and promise to do my level best to be thrillingly audible. (I could aim for debonair and sparkling but, you know, it’s been a long week: let’s not get ambitious.) Full details on how to listen (even for the technowary, or ‘Mum’, as I like to call her) at the above link – and do pop by the chatroom if you happen to be online at the right moment: I hear it gets quite racy in there…

I’ve gone on a deranged Dick Francis spree, and have been gobbling up the Sid Halley ones with abandon – including the fourth, Under Orders, which I thought I’d read and hadn’t (and quite want to copy-edit, as Sid should really be investigating the mysterious theft of multiple commas). I read a review somewhere that declared the charm of his affable, mild-mannered, stoic heroes is that we secretly all think we’re like that. Alarmingly correct, I fear.

See all those brackets up there? YOU HAVE NO IDEA. They’re like a plague, I tell you. As serafina67 is to CAPSLOCK, Heidi is to parenthetical asides. (I may need to get stern in the edit.)

Being overexcited about Indy 4 even though the rumour mill says turkey; being overexcited about the Dollhouse trailer even though YouTube won’t let me see the bloody thing (T, it’s the new Joss Whedon thingy); being overexcited about having a laptop that actually, you know, works; sighing at BBCW’s knicker-knotting over Doctor Who knitting patterns.

Cookery in Colour

Posted on 05. May, 2008 by susie in big woo, biscuits and lies, books i've been reading, cooking, internet, kids' books i've been reading, other writers, telly

In traditional fashion, I have spent the Bank Holiday doing DIY.  Specifically, decorating the kitchen.

That’s what happens when you burrow in the cupboard for chick peas, and find the turmeric instead.  If I was a C15th spice merchant, I’d be well narked.  As it is, I’m quite impressed by my artistic jar-juggling skills.  I’m calling it Sunset Boulevard: Kitchen, and leaving it there for future generations to appreciate.  Or until I find my dustpan and brush.

 I’m slacking on the fiction front – always tricky when you’re knee deep in your own book to fully pay attention to someone else’s – so you’ll have to wait for my review of the marvellous Sarah Mussi’s new teen issue-thriller, Last of the Warrior Kings.   (It is killing me to keep putting it down, though.  Damn you, Mussi, and your cliffhangery ways!)  In the meantime, here’s Charlie Brooker talking about existentialism.  He’s always good value, but this column has bonus thought-provocation in with the LOLs.  It’s what Biscuits & Lies is about, really: becoming so accustomed to the rules of the unreal world (telly, movies, the internet, where you’re a safe observer in the audience, just a pseudonym among millions of untraceable others) that you can’t help but apply them to the real one, at which point everything goes tits-up up quite spectacularly.  Speaking of which…

 You know how last week I said I kept thinking of throwing the whole of B&L out of the window?  Well, I did.  (Metaphorically.  It was in my laptop: I sort of need that a bit too much to go throwing it at windows.)  I’ve nailed the heroine’s voice, at last.  The characters I’d planned out are writing themselves into unexpected, sparkly new people.  There’s a whole new subplot, and I have no idea how it will end: I’m spotting clues to it as I type them, and giggling, and scribbling down ridiculous possibilities, because who knows?  It’s a messy, impractical way to work: I can see already the places I’ll need to tighten up, the meandering chunks of dialogue that don’t do anything for the plot, are just there because I was having fun making these people talk to each other.  (I’m writing dialogue!  I’ve missed dialogue.)  But I don’t think my brain works any other way.  I’ve got the fundamental story set in stone, but if it’s all preconstructed, I get bored.  Knowing exactly where I’m going would be like reading the last page of the detective novel to find out whodunnit: simply unsporting, old chap.  I shall deny ever saying such things when I’m sweating over Edit #43, obviously, but right now, I’m having a riot.  Can there really be people on the planet who don’t want to do this for a living?

 Doing a little spoon-based dance round the kitchen while cooking, only to realise there were three students in the garden, probably weeing themselves at my old-lady moves; celebrating 2 chocolate-free weeks with pistachio ice-cream (I fit in my jeans again: sod it); Prison Break-ing like a mo-fo (2 eps from the end of Season 2: gosh *flails* etc); finally being a grown-up and going for a proper bra-fitting, which is much less scary than I’d imagined (though I was mentally writing an extra serafina67 scene where she did the same – with hi-larious consequences, of course).